Dirty Little Secret
by MissMoony97
Summary: Someone finds out about Remus' secret. What is the price to keep them quiet?


Dirty Little Secret.

Summary: Someone finds out about Remus' secret. What is the price to keep them quiet?

Rating: M rated for graphic violence, self-harm and drug use.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the rights to the Harry Potter films, books or media. This is purely fan-fiction!

Chapter 1 – Gotta Keep It.

The castle was so very quiet, the snow was coming down thick and heavy, coating the grounds in knee deep slush. Remus was one of the only Gryffindor's who had stayed at Hogwarts for Christmas break, not that he particularly wanted to. The full moon fell on Christmas day this year and it was easier for Remus to stay and transform in the shack. Sirius and James argued with Remus for three weeks about staying with him, but Peter persuaded them to stay at him mums for Christmas, so they both finally agreed.

Remus sighed as he pushed himself up out of his bed, his bones cracking and protesting under the weight. He slowly pushed his feet onto the stone floor, inhaling sharply as the cold spread through his body like a stab of ice. He quickly walked over to the fireplace in the middle of the room, poking at it, the flames roared into life and quickly heated the room. He smiled as he felt the rush of warm air hit him in the face. He brushed his hand through his golden brown hair, groaning as his hand became tangled in a stubborn knot.

He hated waking up to such quietness. As much as he relishes a few moments of peace away from the fellow marauders, waking up without them felt odd. The laughter from Sirius which Remus usually awoke to, the angry huffs from Peter trying to get his hair to stay flat and the rather cringe worthy pick-up lines James would be practicing on his photo of Lilly. It wasn't normal, but it was home.

Remus smiled as he thought about his dark haired friend, oh how he will never give up on Lilly.

Yawning, Remus walked into the bathroom, stripping from his clothes he stepped into the welcoming heat of the shower. Looking down at his body he sighed. He hated his body, even from a young age. He wasn't flawless like Sirius or muscular like James. Hell, even Pete's slightly chubby yet scar free body was more appealing. He scrubbed at the scars, if as to somehow rub them away, but all it did was make them stand out red and angry against his pale skin.

After another 5 minutes of scrubbing and 2 minutes of swearing from a shampoo invasion in the eyes, Remus stepped out. Wrapping a towel tightly around him he walked swiftly into the dormitory to pick out some clothes.

 _Holes, too small, more holes…._

Remus groaned as he pulled out his rather embarrassing green and red Christmas jumper his mother made for him last year. It was the only jumper he now had that didn't look like it was supposed to fit a 11 year old. Pulling it over his head he smiled a little as the soft material warmed his body. Finding his favourite pair of black jeans and stealing some of Sirius' socks he was ready to head down to breakfast.

As he entered the great hall his eyes scanned it, looking out for anyone else in sixth year. But instead was greeted by a group or two of seventh years cramming in study time for their NEWTS, a few stragglers from the younger years who looked miserable and Madame Pomfrey fussing over a second year Hufflepuff who had decided to stupidly brave the weather.

Remus smiled at one of the seventh year girls, Eliza, who had helped him with his potions the year before. Sitting down alone on his table Remus felt un-easy, as if someone was watching him. Turning around he saw it was Lucius Malfoy, a seventh year Slytherin with a pure hatred to anyone who wasn't 'pure'. Looking down at his empty plate he piled on a massive helping of bacon and started to tuck in. Finishing off his tea Remus was about to leave when the hoot of owls filled the great hall.

Three letters landed on Remus' bacon smeared plate. Picking up the first letter he recognized the hand writing, his mum.

 _Dear Remus,_

 _We are so sorry you have to stay there alone at Christmas sweetie, but it's just so much safer there, after them god damned regulations were passed. We hope you are staying warm and not going out alone, not with those attacks so close to Hogsmede. We are sending our love to you son, we miss you very much. Have a good Christmas._

 _Love Mum and Dad xx_

Remus smiled and folded the letter up, putting it into his pocket.

"They always worry too much" He spoke softly to himself.

He opened the second letter and started to read.

 _Moony!_

 _How is things? Liking the place to yourself? You better not be getting yourself off on my bed.. I still wish you would of let us stay Rem, I worry, we worry when you have to go through it alone. I know, it's your choice blah blah blah.. Anyways you would never guess what Peters sister looks like, SHES HOT! You heard it, she is one fine woman. I don't think they are really related, different dad.. Oh, James said your Christmas presents should get there tonight so keep an eye out for the owl. Merry Christmas Rem, see you soon old pal._

 _Padfoot._

Remus smiled as he put the letter down, Sirius always knew what to say to make him feel better. He felt the familiar warmth in his stomach that he usually felt around Sirius, or thinking of Sirius, or dreaming of Sirius…

Shaking his head he returned back to the land of the living, looking down on his plate at the last letter. It was only small and looked like it had been rushed. Small, jittery letters formed the word Remus on the front. Picking it up and opening it with his butter knife the small piece of paper fell out.

 _Remus, I know what you are.. How Dumbledore could let a filthy half breed into this fine school is beyond me. I'm sure the parents will have something to say about it if your secret were to, slip out shall we say. Meet me at 10 o'clock in the sixth floor boys toilets. What price will you be willing to pay to keep your dirty little secret?_

Remus gasped and dropped the letter like it burnt him, his heart thumping in his chest so fast it almost felt like it was going to jump out and his breathing seemed to turn into short, quick puffs of trying desperately to get oxygen into his lungs.

He grabbed the letter and stuffed it into his pocket and ran out of the great hall, not caring who was looking at him. He ran and ran for what seemed like hours until he reached the library, knowing it would be empty he didn't hold in the small sobs that came from his mouth when he finally threw himself against the wall and sunk to the floor. Pulling his hair in his hands he groaned in frustration. He knew what he had to do.. He couldn't stand the thought of people knowing about him, the part of him which he hates. He has to go and meet the mystery sender.. He has too.


End file.
